pope jeans. okay not really.
I’ve just bought the most lovely pairs of jeans, one by Ralph Lauren and one by the unfortunately named “Baby Phat.” I loathe that word, “phat.” It sounds like something unpleasant occurring in digestive system which makes you not want to leave the house. I suppose it’s supposed to be “hip.” They ought to come up with a clothing line called “Phat Hip” but then everyone would read it wrong and thus nobody would buy it.
Anyhoo, I do love the jeans. Yes I admit it, my last pair of jeans was what are called “Mom Jeans”: high on the waist and with straight legs. What can I say, I bought them a long time ago and they were still serviceable, and since I mostly wear shirts untucked it didn’t matter that the waist was above my belly button. But those straight legs did bother me. It’s hard to get them over boots, even just low boots, which is mostly what I wear unless I want to look nice. So yesterday while waiting for my lovely new triskele ring that I plan to have reside permanently on my pinkie to be resized I wandered over to Macy’s and tried to spend as much money on clothes in 1/2 hour as humanly possible, or at least as can be done in a department store chain.
And these jeans fit so well! I was born in the wrong century, apparently, to most clothing designers, since I have an ass. And a chest. And my shape is not that of an adolescent boy. Every time I try on jeans it’s yet another depressing day of not being able to find something that fits the butt and yet also fits the hips & waist. Either they fit the waist (which these days is not the actual waist, but lower than that) and are too small in the butt, or they fit the butt and have a gaping maw in the back where the waist is too big. Or they sort of fit all over but I’m left with muffin top. I’d rather wear mom jeans than have muffin top. Brrrrh. So girls, if you are not a pedophile’s dream of a body type, try out Ralph Lauren and Baby Phat. The rest of you can shop in the girl’s department.
Men are lucky. They can just buy Levis. From the used-clothing store. You guys have it easy.
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Today’s Boston Globe lead picture: “Pope Benedict XVI’s arrival in Maryland yesteday marked the first time President Bush has traveled to the airport to greet a visiting leader.”
Oh for chrissakes. It fucking figures. Of all the people to do it for, it has to be HIM. Ol’ Benny doesn’t look frail to me; couldn’t he have just changed out of his ruby slippers hopped over to the limo stand?