Meow House Theatre

Hey guess what? Today I stopped traffic! Yes that old cliché is completely true. You’ve heard how it goes: some women are just so smokin’ incredibly hot that cars come screeching to a halt as they pass by. She walks in beauty like the night, men fall to their knees, Song of Solomon, etc. etc.

Unfortunately, those words do not describe me. What is more fitting is “Damn that girl trips a lot.” Or “That’s a big scab you got there, how’d that happen?” What happened to me was I caught my toe on some invisible thing that everyone else can just step over but nooooo not me and then fell on my ass in the middle of the crosswalk and nearly got run over. Then some guy yelled at me about it because he had to slam on the brakes because he does not care about pedestrians, obviously, and that made the guy behind him have to slam on the brakes and within seconds people were beeping their horns and making a generally unpleasant racket as they waited for the road obstruction to clear. AND I scratched my iPod.

But at least it was a very elegant fall, really. Nobody can say I don’t trip like a ballerina, if ballerinas tripped. If they ever thought about it that is.

In other cliché news–even less flattering if such a thing is possible–last night I had ants in my pants.

Okay, one ant. I was inside listening to messages and I felt “something” tickling my backside. I ignored it for a minute, since there was no one there and I’m not prone to believing in ghosts, but this faint yet noticeable tickling continued. I thought maybe a hair had fallen down my shirt and into my pants, which are rather too big for me and thus there’s plenty of room for things to fall into. So I put my hand down my pants–oh come ON don’t tell me you have never fixed your underwear when nobody was around–and I felt this “thing” and flicked it out and it was an ant. In my pants! I think maybe it fell in when I was out fiddling with the rose bushes before coming in.

I also had a giant bee down my tank top once and that was not something I’d care to repeat. No cliché goes with that one, not that I can think of anyway.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 12th, 2008 at 7:50 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.